Q: I have awakened to the Absolute, and over the last three years have undergone a deep rearranging of the totality of my life. Attachments, beliefs, karmic bonds, etc. have been purified in the fire of my being. In cooperation with a teacher and by Grace and Kundalini Shakti, my whole living life has been realigned to reflect the deeper order — not without trials and tribulations. I recognize myself in everything, everyone I commune with, yet also know that only true Self is no-self. Life has become very natural and quiet, yet there is this growing feeling of my not being fully engaged with life as it is, or as it could be. In the silence of my being, there is this sparkling bubble of yearning to contribute, to fully express, to share. It seems very pure and joyful — not based on want or need — but I also sense this is not to happen by my own doing, but by life living me.

 

If this is not fully the case, do you suggest I just remain quiet and just let it mature? Happy to receive your insights. Thank you.

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Yes, the short response could be: it takes quite some time for any deep, profound awakening to mature, and it depends what we are calling maturity — what we call mature.  These days a lot has been spoken about embodiment. It's literally like I've noticed a shift which happened just under two years ago — suddenly everyone is talking more about embodiment. Before, everyone was talking about awakening, and now embodiment is becoming that very important topic. As welcome as it is, it's very, very important to understand what we mean by embodiment. 

 

Very often people speak of embodiment, before they even had the chance to transcend the body. They talk about the embodiment of very, very, perhaps profound, but still what could come under the category of glimpses — glimpses of the Self. Because the glimpse of the Self literally eclipses everything else, and may feel as if that is all there is to it. Yet, by its very nature, it will unfold; unfold, and from unfoldment, it will unfold and expand… 

 

And the dilemma comes precisely because life is not yet being lived fully — as if still more can be given of yourself. And believe me, your question echoes many, many, many similar questions from people who come up with this very question — that if I am awakened, I want to share this.  I want to be in a position to give more, because I see it, I see the potential, I know it, I am feeling how I am embodying it — why is it that I am not being placed in a situation or in a position where that is happening? 

 

First of all, I want you to understand that the way Consciousness works, it does not waste anything at all — It is so economical in the way It functions. Anyone who becomes in a position to guide others and be of help, is being mobilized there and then. Also, equally true is that many people in my opinion often assume too soon that they are indeed these very instruments, and the grandiose plans are immediately being drawn, and the grandiose teachings are being presented, because they feel that that's what they are. That they are here in the role of the messiah and they begin to play it — often very skillfully — often very successfully. 

 

However, in your question there is this sincerity that I admire — that honesty that I admire. That question itself comes from that place of honesty, “Why, if I feel that connection, why, if I'm awakened to that degree, is there still something as if Life is not yet fully expressing Itself through me, and has become very natural and quiet, though still there is more?” If there is this feeling — obviously there is — that in itself is just how that is; that in itself is also a very precious time. My only suggestion if that situation or condition...you know you can create your own condition in that awakened state — everything that I said and expressed earlier is directly applicable — you can move everything from the subtlest point. For the awakened being to achieve, it requires just the subtlest fraction of energy where the thought itself rises from. 

 

And one can move a lot, one can do a lot, one can literally generate things; like generate things out of the blue, make things appear out of the blue. I'm not talking about tricks, I'm talking about real things. So my only suggestion here is to allow that maturity, allow that grounding, allow that embodiment — because it's very important. It's very important, because you will see how these phases — they will replace the subtler phases, replaced by the subtler phase. And then all is left to how much this physiology can literally handle that aptitude of Consciousness. The real ground discovered is not through the breakthroughs that we've gone through, but is in the post-factum of how much of these breakthroughs can actually be carried and embodied 24/7. 

 

So the embodiment here only makes sense when we've gone through a complete and total disembodiment. When a dissolution, completely dissolved...you see it must first be molten, it has to be melted and dissolved, and this body, this mind, this structure — everything has to be dissolved — so that the process of repose that is accompanied, literally follows. With every profound awakening, there is a phase of repose — very beautiful — a process of repose. Nothing is asked of us, there is no high — we are not pushed anywhere; there is this frequency of extreme altitude that every cell vibrates, because of what we were literally allowed to experience. 

 

And often we are in that state of bewilderment and wonder. And in that repose, it allows the establishment of what I call “reaching that plateau where Consciousness no longer slumbers down,” Consciousness no longer slides down — It literally establishes Itself at this plane of the higher altitude. And we begin to live life from that plane. And after that repose, the descent begins, a qualitatively very different process, a descent — literally. When the descent begins, another work often begins, because then everything that we have not somehow uncovered or maybe managed to somehow bypass if there was this intensity —then, we cannot afford to leave any stone untouched, because every cell would have to be filled with qualitatively new juices. Therefore, the container would have to be entirely purified again.

 

It's a very, very beautiful process of a descent of Consciousness now. That is what I call the embodiment. That is what I call the embodiment — not some awakening, and then immediately people talk, “Oh, now I'm embodying this.” I'm sorry, have you gone through disembodiment, and now you are now talking about embodiment? That's not to discourage, you know this could be a very subtle process — not necessarily intense as it usually is when very compacted in terms of a time scale, but it can be a very gradual process.  It is preferable when it is more gradual because it takes less toll on our physiology.

 

                                                                                                              ~ Igor Kufayev, Online Darshan transcribed Q&A Mallorca, June 6, 2015